On Tuesday, Kevin took all three sleepers to school and made his 10th graders vote. Local NGOs monitoring the proceedings have raised questions about the accuracy of the vote given that some votes may have been erased from the white board and some students may have voted more than once. Videos of ballot stuffing briefly surfaced on YouTube before officials, unofficially and illegally, removed them from the popular video-sharing website. In light of these factors and the fact that all of the students are under the legal voting age, Kevin has offered a 3/5 compromise.
Here are the results (all calculations were rounded down):
Bears: 23 x (3/5) = 13
Frogs: 14 x (3/5) = 8
Duckies: 46 x (3/5) = 27
*Note, several write-in votes were found during the final tally, specifically three votes for a manbearpig outfit, which was described as “part man, part bear, part pig, and all fierce.” Considering the fact that no such outfit has ever nor will ever exist, these votes were disallowed.
Exit polls revealed some interesting insights into the minds of the voting public. Two such interviews struck this reporter as particularly representative of this voting bloc. One supposedly cool 15-year-old boy was heard to remark that the duckies outfit was obviously the best choice because it says “I love mommy” on it and he loves his mommy. Some of the students raised concerns that the frog outfit was not soft enough. The bear outfit in particular inspired serious vitriol, causing one girl to comment: “YOU CAN’T DRESS A GIRL IN A BEAR OUTFIT – BEARS ARE FOR BOYS!!” to which Kevin replied, “why are you yelling at me?”
This is Kevin Mitchell, reporting on location from Kevin's office chair. Stay tuned.
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