Molly's Outfit: Special High School Edition

On Tuesday, Kevin took all three sleepers to school and made his 10th graders vote. Local NGOs monitoring the proceedings have raised questions about the accuracy of the vote given that some votes may have been erased from the white board and some students may have voted more than once. Videos of ballot stuffing briefly surfaced on YouTube before officials, unofficially and illegally, removed them from the popular video-sharing website. In light of these factors and the fact that all of the students are under the legal voting age, Kevin has offered a 3/5 compromise.

Here are the results (all calculations were rounded down):
Bears: 23 x (3/5) = 13
Frogs: 14 x (3/5) = 8
Duckies: 46 x (3/5) = 27

*Note, several write-in votes were found during the final tally, specifically three votes for a manbearpig outfit, which was described as “part man, part bear, part pig, and all fierce.” Considering the fact that no such outfit has ever nor will ever exist, these votes were disallowed.

Exit polls revealed some interesting insights into the minds of the voting public. Two such interviews struck this reporter as particularly representative of this voting bloc. One supposedly cool 15-year-old boy was heard to remark that the duckies outfit was obviously the best choice because it says “I love mommy” on it and he loves his mommy. Some of the students raised concerns that the frog outfit was not soft enough. The bear outfit in particular inspired serious vitriol, causing one girl to comment: “YOU CAN’T DRESS A GIRL IN A BEAR OUTFIT – BEARS ARE FOR BOYS!!” to which Kevin replied, “why are you yelling at me?”

This is Kevin Mitchell, reporting on location from Kevin's office chair. Stay tuned.

Vote on Molly’s First Outfit

On December 29 or 30, Molly will leave the hospital in one of these hot little numbers. Which should it be? (Polls close 12/29.)

Front

Back


Which of these sleepers would you like to see Molly wear home from the hospital?

Molly in Privacy Plea

Newport News, VA: After a third ultrasonography session and the news that she can expect at least one more before her birth, Molly held a press conference today to ask for privacy during this difficult time. "I'm very busy in here. I'm putting the finishing touches on my lungs right now and I'd really appreciate some time alone with my placenta." Molly refused to comment on rumors that she is trying to tunnel out through her mother's navel, but our cameras did manage to obtain this photo of the foot allegedly in the act of kicking. Stay tuned for updates on this developing story.

The Face of Mo*

I know that many of you will be concerned that this baby face is not attached to a baby body, but allow me to allay your concerns. There is in fact a quite active and cheeky little girl human attached to this face - so cheeky in fact that she likes to moon the ultrasonographer on any and every occasion. Lisa often asks aloud whether this person is human or dancer. On second thought, that might have been a song lyric I heard the other day. Regardless, the baby kicks a lot.

The evidence is also apparent by the cute little Jensen nose that this child is in fact Lisa's daughter. We have heard some rumors of alternate maternity but these pictures have proven them unfounded and specious.

*Pardon the Doctor Who reference, but that is how we nerds roll. And her name is Molly.